An Indian Satya Nadella from Hyderabad becomes the CEO of Microsoft. Things you can expect now :
1. Each Windows CD will now ship with a free CD of 'Mata ki bhent' from T series
2. The default screen saver will be of India's iconic figure - Savita Bhabhiji
3. All their software will now support default languages like Marathi, Sindhi, Bhojpuri, Tapori, etc
4. All those dudes selling pirated copies of Microsoft software outside railway stations will be absorbed in Microsoft as Sr. sales executives.
5. After Windows 7, Windows 8, the next versions of Microsoft Windows will be named Windows Nav Do Gyarah, Windows 786, etc
6. No Microsoft software will ever be declared end-of-life. They will continue recycling it with the simple Indian mother's logic - how can you waste anything beta ?
7. All Microsoft employees including Bill Gates will have to oil their hair at work everyday, do Ganeshji ki pooja before start of work and eat dal rice with their hands at lunch henceforth.
8. All their products will come with option of installing it one by two, two by three, etc
9. All Microsoft products will stop working in Pakistan & China from today. Just a giant middle finger will appear as they boot their PCs with a sinister voice saying - Fucked you guys !
10. All Microsoft offices will globally follow Indian holiday list i.e. shut for Janmasthami, Shivaji Jayanti, Diwali & open during Easter & Christmas
11. All Microsoft employees will now be allowed to take 2 hours off on Raksha Bandhan (either morning or evening)
12. Bill Gates will change his name to Billu Ganesh just so that he blends with the rest of the Indians in the Co.
13. All Microsoft products will now have to compulsory have the ISI mark and MRP sticker globally.
14. Windows logo will be replaced with the Doordarshan logo
15. All Windows critical updates will henceforth be nothing but just updated menu cards from Paradise Biryani of Hyderabad.
Phew !
1. Each Windows CD will now ship with a free CD of 'Mata ki bhent' from T series
2. The default screen saver will be of India's iconic figure - Savita Bhabhiji
3. All their software will now support default languages like Marathi, Sindhi, Bhojpuri, Tapori, etc
4. All those dudes selling pirated copies of Microsoft software outside railway stations will be absorbed in Microsoft as Sr. sales executives.
5. After Windows 7, Windows 8, the next versions of Microsoft Windows will be named Windows Nav Do Gyarah, Windows 786, etc
6. No Microsoft software will ever be declared end-of-life. They will continue recycling it with the simple Indian mother's logic - how can you waste anything beta ?
7. All Microsoft employees including Bill Gates will have to oil their hair at work everyday, do Ganeshji ki pooja before start of work and eat dal rice with their hands at lunch henceforth.
8. All their products will come with option of installing it one by two, two by three, etc
9. All Microsoft products will stop working in Pakistan & China from today. Just a giant middle finger will appear as they boot their PCs with a sinister voice saying - Fucked you guys !
10. All Microsoft offices will globally follow Indian holiday list i.e. shut for Janmasthami, Shivaji Jayanti, Diwali & open during Easter & Christmas
11. All Microsoft employees will now be allowed to take 2 hours off on Raksha Bandhan (either morning or evening)
12. Bill Gates will change his name to Billu Ganesh just so that he blends with the rest of the Indians in the Co.
13. All Microsoft products will now have to compulsory have the ISI mark and MRP sticker globally.
14. Windows logo will be replaced with the Doordarshan logo
15. All Windows critical updates will henceforth be nothing but just updated menu cards from Paradise Biryani of Hyderabad.
Phew !
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