Ganpati Bappa Morya !
Mumbai's biggest festival Ganesh Chaturthi is here and the junta gets divided into 2 - those who get their own Ganpati idol home and those who dont. I suspect that over the years most people have started getting their own idol as they get too tired visiting houses of friends and relatives who get the idol in one day !
So here's a ready reckoner for all those who are going Ganpati hopping this year :
1. One day before Ganesh Chaturthi, list down all your SMS and BBM nvites and then map the most optimum route you will take so as to cover maxm. Ganpati idols in one day. Google maps is a good tool.
2. Plan properly taking into consideration those houses where the food is really good so that you reach there during lunch or dinner time so as to eat a meal there & thus save the meal costs of your entire family in these tough times !
3. Start late (by 11.30 am) as most people who get Ganpati idol for One and half days are anyways lazy Sindhis/Punjabis/Marwaris who were busy partying till late the previous night and are not really ready for early visitors. I once went to a Sindhi house at 10.30 am , everyone was sleeping and the Ganpati idol was lying in a corner alongwith the morning newspapers..
4. Carry enough change (10, 20 buck notes) as you will have to put it in every thali near the idol. And dont get intimidated by the 100 & 500 rupee notes left earlier in the thali. Those have been put by the host to maximise collections and make you look petty. Anyways all this money goes to the greedy fat pundit !
5. Remember to pray to the idol..most people get so carried away by the meeting/greeting/checking each others clothes and jewelery /food/welcome drink that they forget to pray !
6. Heres the list of small talk you should do in every house :
a. When did you get the idol ? I hope its an eco model ...
b. Nowadays the pundits are so hard to get na..they are so busy !
c. What time was the muhurat today ?
d. All this food is home made ?? (Say this only in Maharashtrian and Gujju houses..dont bother in Sindhi / Punjabi/Marwari houses..its all catered anyways!)
e. Your idol is the most beautiful till now..
f. Expecting a lot of guests today ? you guys must be so busy na..
g. Did you guys see 'Barfi' ?
h. Every year the festival is increasing and more & more people are getting the Idol..
i. What time is the Visarjan tomorrow ?
j. Where will you be immersing the idol ? Juhu beach ?? (Idiot !dont ask this to people staying on the west of Western Express Highway)
7. Finally before you leave, once again pray to the idol and dont forget to collect the return 'prasad'. Say that you have diabetes and take back only fruits! Fruits are very expensive , last longer in your fridges and more healthier than laddoos.
Enjoy the festival !
Ganpati Bappa Morya ! Pudchya Varshi Lavkar yaa !
